Who needs scripted soaps and films when you have real drama such as this unfolding on your telly box?

Would-be lover Marcus Akin languishes in the BB jailhouse, while femme fatale Noirin Kelly enjoys steamy snogs with Siavash ... at the same time flirting with hunk Tom Oliver.

It happened in the early hours of this morning.

And after having at least TWO snogs with the Irish temptress, Siavash Sabbaghpour asked her twice, if he was going to move to Ireland, or was she going to move to London.

She'd take breaks from the attention she'd been paying to the smitten Iranian to talk to dashing Tom, and he had no clue what was going on under cover of darkness.

Noirin took full advantage of Marcus's incarceration to go for The Vash, though at one point it did look as though she might have made a play for muscly Tom.

Jailed out in the garden for his part in Kenneth Tong's escape, Wolverine lookalike, Marcus Akin had no idea what was occurring, and talked to Rodrigo and Charlie about Tom, clearly concerned that he may be the main love rival.

The proverbial will hit the fan when he finds out.

But that won't happen for now, as Noirin cleverly clambers back to her own bed, and that's where Marcus finds her when he's finally released from jail.

Will we all be talking about NoiVash in time to come, I wonder?